Thursday, February 13, 2014

Goblins


I apologize in advance.

  1. Chasing an escaped, half-skinned tawny cat. Unbearable cries. Please euthanize it. W: 3r, the most depraved will catch it and finish skinning it with bare hands, then leave it there alive.
  2. Who-Is-More-Hardcore-Competition. Chopping bits off themselves w/rusty cleavers. W: 1t, both are winners/losers. Spectators fall to cannibalizing the competitors. 
  3. Blissed out. High as kites on azure cave-drippings. Follow them to the source-stalactite. 
  4. Rageheads. Wired like a crackhead drinking a redbull. Aggressive like distillation of depraved testosterone. W: 9r, one bumps into another, and they choke on each other's intestines while the others laugh. Follow to source of mood-altering bloodred crystalline substance.
  5. Art. Tremendous cackling. They are destroying beautiful frescoe, will fall asleep in its rubble.
  6. Science. Area contains huge precision titrimetry system. They are playing dodgebeaker with the stuff. 1/6 items thrown are caustic/flammable. 
  7. Humanities. Goblins excreting. Ripping pages from ancient tomes for waste paper. d6 (50g) tomes left unless W
  8. Friendship. Arms lashed together, butting heads repeatedly, bleeding, screaming. Others chanting, jumping. W: 3r, both pass out, not dead. General celebration: these shall be friends for life.
  9. Profanity. [censored] activities with religious statue. If P slaughters goblins, statue will animate, grant boon, promise blessing if goblin-genocide complete and statue washed in the blood of them all. Will deliver too. 
  10. Oral history. The rest @ attention as wizened goblin narrates highlight reel of tribe. Accompanied by goblins performing obscene puppetry reenactments with skeletons of victims affixed to poles. 
  11. Drink after work. Chugging fermented rat-milk from skull-mugs as they drag back their rotted kills to the larder.
  12. Non-Aggression Principle. A goblin has somehow come to the conclusion that they should live at peace with other intelligent beings. He is preaching, toga-clad. W: 6r, they eat him alive out of boredom.